


A Feline's Feelings // Sadstuck

by iiZeroHeroii



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Autism, Blood, Blood and Gore, Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Feelings Jams, Flashbacks, Gore, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Men Crying, Post-Scratch (Homestuck), Retcon Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-10 00:04:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20126068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iiZeroHeroii/pseuds/iiZeroHeroii
Summary: Dave and Karkat talk about Karkat's feelings on Nepeta.





	A Feline's Feelings // Sadstuck

Karkat stands in the entrance to a large room that used to be a certain Olive-Blood's shipping cavern. Red, pink, black, and grey chalk covers the walls, highlighting shipping grids with the specific Alternian quadrants, with crack ships and canonical ships alike right next to each other. The candy-red blooded troll walks along the wall, scanning the different headcannons, ones that panned out, and ones that remained stagnant, and of course there are the complicated ones, such as Vriska and Terezi, he never really understood those two, and still doesn't. His eyes keep wandering along the crimson squares on the walls, filled with pictures of his dead friends. Images from last sweep flash through his mind, mainly the deaths of most of the trolls he grew to know as his friends. The pictures on the wall begin to get more vibrant as he keeps walking, he turns a corner and the images keep coming, Sollux collapsing in a pool of his own blood, Feferi's chest being turned into a strawberry-colored tunnel, Eridan's innards scattering across the ground as he's torn in half with a chai-

DAVE: hey man   
KARKAT: FUCKING SHIT.

Dave appears behind Karkat almost out of nowhere. Karkat spins around to face him.

DAVE: whoa man chill out   
KARKAT: CHILL OUT? CHILL OUT?? I AM WALKING AROUND A ROOM FILLED WITH BREEDING CHARTS OF MY DEAD FRIENDS AND YOU HAVE THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO SNEAK UP BEHIND ME, SCARE THE PUMP BISCUIT OUT OF MY GODDAMN CHEST, AND THEN TELL ME TO "CHILL OUT"??? FUCK YOU STRIDER. LEAVE ME ALONE.

Dave stands there the entire time, taking all of Karkat's words like it's something he hears every day. When Karkat is finally done he's out of breath, his eyes were orange like fire before but as he regains his breath they cool down to a troll's signature yellow. His shoulders, hunched before, relax. His jaw unclenches and fists turn into relaxed hands. He looks down at the floor.

KARKAT: SORRY.   
DAVE: hey man dont be sorry, youre workin on it   
KARKAT: YEAH...   
DAVE: ...

The room is stagnant for a while, the air as cold as an unbeating heart. Karkat turns back towards the wall, arms crossed over his chest, he starts to walk along the wall again, looking up at the grids, dave following behind him quietly. The pink, black, and grey chalk slowly stops showing up, and red turns into the only quadrant color up on the wall. Trolls and humans alike are pictured making out everywhere. Karkat's face reddens when his eyes hit a picture of him and Dave surrounded by a heart. The squares begin to dissipate as Nepeta ran out of people to ship. The final drawing is a Feferi/Terezi crack ship, and then it ends. At the end of the hallway is a door, Karkat looks at the door and then to Dave, both have a perplexed look on their faces.

He approaches the door and reaches for the knob, before he touches it he notices something, there is crimson chalk smudged onto the handle. The troll swallows hard, he grips the knob and turns it, then pulls. The room that the door leads to is completely dark, Karkat moves his hand along the wall adjacent to him, feeling for a light switch. He feels a light switch and flicks it. A light flicks on and illuminates the room, on the opposite wall to Karkat is a large drawing, of him and Nepeta surrounded by a heart, with various comments around it such as 'yes!!!' and '<3'. There are multiple splaysacs and loungeplanks scattered around the room with one desk on the left side of the room.

KARKAT: WOW   
DAVE: lol theres a whole ass shrine up in here   
DAVE: dedicated to the great karkat   
DAVE: getter of cat bitches   
DAVE: kisser of felines   
KARKAT: IVE NEVER KISSED HER DIPSHIT   
KARKAT: SHE JUST HAD A WEIRD CRUSH ON ME   
DAVE: right sure

Karkat squints at Dave bitterly, Dave just keeps his trademark half smirk on his face. There are more drawings and writing up on the but they seem to be random notes. Karkat goes over to inspect the desk, on it is a desk lamp shaped like a double-mouthed cat who is leaning its head over the desk. He twists the cat's tail and its eyes light up, illuminating a piece of paper on the table and a pencil next to it. On it is a note written in an olive green ink.

:33< dear karkitty...

That one name hits Karkat like a rock, Karkitty...she used to call him that name, at the time he hated that name, it was just an annoying nickname that some girl he didn't like called him. But now he misses it with all of his heart, he would do anything to hear it just one more time.

:33< i just wanted to write this letter to tell you something, i wanna get something off of my chest. i like you! more than i like equius or terezi. youre really cute and i think youre the only purrson ive ever liked like this, i doubt you f33l the same way but thats okay. i know youve nefurr really liked me, you used to call me autistic and annoying, but thats okay, im sure you regret it. and if you dont thats ok too! i like you either way! i know you act like youre angry all of the time but its just because you dont like yourself, you like to be angry because its easier for you than being yourself. but i think that the real you would be just purrfect, i hope i get to m33t you fur real one day! id love it if we could be matesprites, but if you dont wanna then thats okay too, i dont wanna force you into anything. *ac smooches you on the ch33k and crawls away to play with her moirail*

As Karkat reads over the note it becomes harder to read, the words become blurry and obscured, it takes him a moment to realize that he's crying. Tears fall from his cheek onto the paper, messing up the olive ink, only reminding him of the blood that he saw dripping from Nepeta's decapitated head at Vriska and Terezi's showdown. By the time he finishes the letter it's soaked with scarlet tears, he cant keep himself from crying anymore. Karkat collapses onto the gound completely sobbing, Dave immediately goes to comfort him, this is something has had to do a lot the past year, but this time he seems especially upset.

KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME, WE WEREN'T EVEN THAT CLOSE   
DAVE: shh i know babe   
KARKAT: SHE WAS SO SWEET AND KIND TO ME, EVEN THOUGH I WAS SUCH AN ASSHOLE TO HER   
KARKAT: SHE APPRECIATED ME SO MUCH FOR SOME REASON   
KARKAT: I WISH I HAD JUST BEEN NICER TO HER   
KARKAT: MAYBE IF I HAD JUST BEEN MORE OPEN SHE WOULDN'T BE DEAD   
DAVE: hey, dont blame yourself for her death, you didnt kill her   
KARKAT: I KNOW I JUST...   
KARKAT: WHY DID THEY ALL DIE?   
KARKAT: THEY UNDERSTOOD ME   
KARKAT: SOLLUX, NEPETA, ERIDAN, FEFERI   
KARKAT: EVEN EQUIUS   
DAVE: i guess its just a part of this game   
DAVE: watching everyone die   
KARKAT: THIS GAME SUCKS ASS   
DAVE: yeah...   
Dave helps Karkat up off of the ground.   
DAVE: hey, ill tell you what   
DAVE: ill make you some sweet ass coco and put on a romcom.   
KARKAT: YEAH THAT SOUNDS GOOD   
KARKAT: ILL CATCH UP WITH YOU

Dave looks at him with a warm, worried smile.

DAVE: alright babe

He kisses Karkat on the forehead and flies out the door. Karkat watches him leave, then turns back to the desk, he wipes off the tears on the paper and the desk. He looks up at the drawing of him and Nepeta on the wall and smirks, he twists the cat's tail again to turn off the lamp, then heads towards the door. Before he leaves he turns back to take a scan of the room, he notices the cute little comments on the walls, small things that make up a person, that make up Nepeta. He smiles lightly.

KARKAT: THANKS NEPETA

Karkat flicks the light off and shuts the door behind him.


End file.
